Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
