If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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