i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
