And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
