She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
