His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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