Where did you get a picture of my penis
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
