Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
