Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
high people should be assigned attendants
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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