I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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