i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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