i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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