We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
