So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
