if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
