My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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