shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
