This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
