She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
