your room smells of hookers.
And success
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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