dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Who died my cat blue again?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
