You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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