I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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