ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
