i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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