can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
