Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
