soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
