Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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