Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
