Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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