I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
