ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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