end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
