I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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