fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
