Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize