We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
