giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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