i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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