Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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