Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
what day is it and did you see me today?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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