Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
