we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
