i jhust puked up my retainher.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
