how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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