he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
