FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
