Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
