was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
