i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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