You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
