I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
