Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Randomize