he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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