maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize