i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
