Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think I am morally bankrupt
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
