I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
