Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize