I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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